Overcoming Anxiety

Anxious thoughts are nothing new. In fact, the Bible is chock-full of historical accounts of people dealing (or not) with their anxieties and fears. And as it turns out, one of the most practical step-by-step instructive writings in the Bible about overcoming anxiety comes from the book of Philippians. #Philippians

Modern therapy methods that are evidence-based suggest a cognitive behavioral approach. Guess what. That’s not really new either because Philippians draws straight from a guard your thoughts approach and encourages retraining thinking (mind). But Philippians ups the ante by drawing on God and prayer as well. Here’s how it goes: #CBT #guardyourheartandmind

Philippians 4:6-9 (NLT), “Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus. And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. Keep putting into practice all you learned and received from me – everything you heard from me and saw me doing. Then the God of peace will be with you.”

That’s a lot, so here’s the step-by-step when you’re feeling anxious:

1. Pray and ask God for what you need and thank Him for all He has done. Deep breath in, exhale big and slow. #pray

2. We are promised His peace when we do this part and doing this helps to guard both heart and mind. Because that’s where anxiety attacks – your heart pounds, chest constricts, and thoughts race. So, guarding your heart and mind is huge – and it’s an outcome of prayer! #peace

3. Train your thoughts on things that are true (rather than irrational), pure, beautiful to think about, things that are admirable and sought after, and being successful. Stay in the present. #trainyourthoughts

4. Practice. It is not a one-and-done. Friends, we have learned to be anxious by allowing anxious thoughts to rule. It’s a battle. We have never become excellent at anything without practice and consistency. #practice

This is both biblically based and backed by science – but, hey it’s God’s truth, so no surprise there. For some folks, having a good therapist to help stay accountable is necessary. For others, both therapy and medications to help break the cycle are the recipe for success.

Don’t give up! There is hope and healing and it can be yours with practice.

Grumble, Grumble Leadership

For some, the past several months may have felt like wading slow-motion through deep water against the current. A struggle! And then again, from a different perspective, the time since we first heard the word COVID-19 seems impossibly short. #COVID #struggle #time

One thing’s for certain, there’s been no shortage of opinions and complaints about how the whole matter has been handled. Breathe a sigh of relief -- I’m not here to offer any more of that. #complaining #grumbling

I’m here to draw some analogies and ask some questions.

Numbers 11:4-6 (NLT), “Then the foreign rabble who were travelling with the Israelites began to crave the good things of Egypt. And the people of Israel also began to complain. ‘Oh, for some meat!’ they exclaimed. ‘We remember the fish we used to eat for free in Egypt. And we had all the cucumbers, melons, leeks, onions, and garlic we wanted. But now our appetites are gone. All we ever see is this manna!’”

I'm not saying that wanting the meat was bad. Meat is good! But it strikes me as odd how distorted the peoples' memories of their Egyptian experience had been become. How quickly they had forgotten about the hardships and poor treatment they had endured there. They’d forgotten all about the real cost of their meat and melons – it was far from "free"! Their cost came in the form of oppression, slavery, hard labor, and slaughtered children. Suddenly they were uber-focused on the things they didn’t have. Hmm.

All this while God’s presence is literally visible to them -- a cloud by day and a pillar of fire by night. And, oh by the way, God was providing fresh bread from heaven (manna) daily -- except on the Sabbath, but that's another story. That's kind of like the Krispy Kreme "hot now" sign being on 24/7. The point is they seemed to be voicing contempt toward the bread God was miraculously providing daily!

Amid this discontent, Moses had a little outburst when the people began whining about wanting meat. He demanded of God, how can you be so cruel to me, making me carry the burden of these people all by myself. And he demanded God let him know how he was to provide meat for all these people – over 600,000 military-aged men plus women and children and Levites. Likely between a million to a couple of million people! (Numbers 13:10-15 (NLT)).

I don’t know about you all, but I’m feeling like Moses was lucky his little outburst didn’t earn him air-fried vulture-bait status in the wilderness. But it seems like God was registering with his frustration, and in agreement, instructed Moses on how to divide the burden of caring for these fickle people.

I also wonder why God didn’t correct Moses’ perception that he was “doing this on his own”; leading this flock of wayward complainers was never Moses on his own. God had been instructing with great specificity and finite detail about how things should be done. No. Moses was never doing this by himself. God gave Moses what he asked for rather than correcting his distorted perception. Hmm.

Are we perceiving that we are carrying the burdens of life alone? Do we have community to help carry the burdens? Are we trusting God with what we cannot bear? #alone #burdens

Are we pining for the “good old days” before COVID and missing the God’s thundering voice calling us to attention and providing direction? #goodolddays #busyness #margins

Are we voicing contempt regarding the blessings we have? About the way God is moving? #contempt #gratitude

Have we convinced ourselves that we are doing life under our own power? Maybe we're trying that -- is it really a curiosity that we’re frustrated and exhausted? #whereisthepower #Godspower #frustrated

I wonder if that’s one of the reasons God chose to allow the world to come to a halt. Did He allow this so we would have the bandwidth to stop and notice He’s still here – He’s ever-present? #Heisnear

Yes, things have changed. And change feels uncomfortable. #unconfortable #change

And discomfort is where God’s presence is most discernible (if we’re looking for it). It is often the tool He uses to draw us near.

Will we complain? Or will we refocus our eyes, our spirits on Him?

He is near. He is leading.

Getting Un-Stuck

Even if you’re not a science geek, you might have heard the following in one form or another:

An object at rest tends to stay at rest, and an object in motion

tends to stay in motion unless acted upon by an outside force.

- Sir Isaac Newton

This is known as the Law of Inertia. Inertia means something remains unchanged. According to this law, intervention is required to cause an immobile object to begin moving or to cause a moving object to change course. We are human beings – not objects – however, there is some truth in the Law of Inertia that can be applied to help us get un-stuck or make a change of direction.

If we’ve lived long enough, most of us occasionally find ourselves overwhelmed and stuck -- whether for a day or a season. Unfortunately, some people find themselves stuck for decades.

But take heart! Being stuck can be a detour; it does not have to be a destination.

The catalyst for change can begin with a simple shift in the way we think of things. Often, we believe that if circumstances would just change or other people would comply with our way of seeing things that things would be better – that I would be un-stuck. Well, that might feel true. But where does the power lie with those perspectives?

Other people, not me, have the power in that kind of thinking. How much power do we have over how other people think, behave, and treat us? That’s right – ZERO! We are often powerless over external circumstances. Does that leave us essentially stuck? No!

Anxiety tells us that if we can’t forecast tomorrow, assure the outcome with absolute certainty, and control the situation it’s going to be catastrophic. (Anxiety is a stinking liar, by the way). But what a terrifying perspective, right? Because if it’s going to be catastrophic, all of my energy – and potentially a lot of my should-be sleep time – gets dedicated to ruminating over how I will predict all possible eventualities, develop a plan for each and every one of them, control how others will play their parts and react, and fret over it all going absolutely perfectly. The result: exhaustion, frustration, and more anxiety OR we begin to avoid everything because we recognize our inability to actually control any of it. Guess who wins? Yeah, anxiety wins. Every time.

Depression tells us that the current situation is hopeless, and things will never change. That life as I know it is over and it will never get better. And if it’s never getting better, who cares, why try, and I might as well just eat a gallon of ice cream, binge on television, or sleep 20 hours a day. When I do those things, my fears are confirmed. Nothing has changed, it still looks hopeless, my friends are out having a good time, and nobody seems to even notice that I’m not ok. The result? Depression and acting depressed lead to – wait for it – deeper depression.

Marriage difficulties are tough because there are two people acting and reacting to each other, each usually believing that “not me” is the entire problem in the relationship. Typically, each partner walks into the office pointing a finger at the other hoping that the therapist can just change their spouse so everything will be ok. The reality is that both people have contributed to the relationship problems, and both need to work on themselves being a better partner.

For sure, inertia has set in when we are stuck in anxiety, depression, or marital discord. Someone wise once told me, “If you’re not growing, you’re dying”. I’ve come to believe that’s true – there’s no standing still. We are not objects, so Inertia results in deterioration. If we are not working intentionally on growing, we are regressing. So, if any of those sound like where you are today, it’s time to make some choices to get un-stuck. Or maybe you’re moving in the wrong direction and need to make a course correction.

Decide to think differently, tell anxiety to shut up, stop acting depressed, call a friend or family member to talk about it, decide to move your body rather than binge on ice cream and tv, and figure out what it takes to be a great spouse. If you’ve exhausted all of your ideas and resources, or have been struggling for a while, reach out for help.

You most definitely can get un-stuck. And help is just a phone call away.