Finding Elusive Joy

Not everyone is excited and happy this time of year. Financial burdens, relational strains, alienation, illnesses, or deaths (recent or past) – each of these and many other circumstances can leave us feeling quite down and forgotten. #holidays #findingjoy

Romans 12:12 (NIV), “Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.”

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 (NLT), “16 Always be joyful. 17 Never stop praying. 18 Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus.”

Sometimes, reading these passages feel like platitudes – like, here, plaster this on your heart, mind and tongue and it will all be better. But that is not the intention. This is not a platitude, a band aid, or a quick fix. It is a choice.

And be sure of this: When the Bible repeats a theme over and over again, it is not because they are easily taken to heart and put into practice. It is hard. The instruction bears repeating because our feelings want to win and tell us they are in control.

Especially when we are edgy, irritable, feeling abandoned, rejected and alone in the world. Those hard feelings of discomfort and hurt bubble up from our most vulnerable places. And if we are honest, not only do they bubble up, but they also spew on anything or anyone within earshot.

So how do we find joy, hope, be thankful and prayerful? And why is it helpful?

First, joy is very different than happiness. Happiness is circumstantial. It would be ridiculous to tell someone to be happy about feeling hurt or abandoned. Joyfulness is based on an eternal versus a circumstantial perspective. Ever notice when we observe the same object or event from different angles, we would describe it differently? Maybe very differently? That is the difference between joy and happiness – the angle we look at things from or where we place our focus. #joyvshappiness #changeperspective

Second, we remain stuck in unhappiness often because we deny reality of a circumstance or seek to have some sense of control over the circumstance that is unrealistic. Truly, there is very little I (or you) control in life except how we respond to it. Turning to prayer voices our needs, hopes and desires and relinquishes that mirage of control. Prayer places our need in the hands The One who has the power to change things. God can, as Creator of all things, change the course of events yet to unfold, create something out of nothing, or create nothing out of something! He can also provide comfort, peace and joy in those cases when He chooses not to change our circumstances. And because He is good, we can rest assured, the circumstance is intended to refine our characters. #control #prayer

Third, we are to be thankful in all circumstances. Note it does not insist we be thankful for all circumstances. That is an important distinction. God knows on this side of heaven we will encounter troubles – it is guaranteed. He also knows that turning our thoughts to thanksgiving rather than dwelling, ruminating on, and basking in self-pity is unlikely (think NEVER) going to produce a mindset and heart condition that allows Him to heal us. Determining to find points of gratitude and thanksgiving in spite of negative circumstances makes space in our hearts, minds and souls for God to continue the good work He began in us. #thankful #grateful

Is it natural to move in these directions and choose these things when life feels bad? Nope. But we can choose to use the minds we were given to place out thoughts and attentions where God directs and experience joy. #choosejoy

When Dark Clouds Gather

The heaviness is not limited to emotions. The heaviness is also in our bodies, thinking and spirit. It seems to permeate every fiber of our beings. It can be debilitating and paralyzing. Often, we go through the motions – the “requirements” of life. It can feel like we are living in a dense fog – mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually. #depression

Work. Kids to school. Dinner. Dishes. Ruminate over all the poor choices, unpaid bills, lack of willpower, unmet expectations – and then TRY to sleep. Or TRY to get out of bed after a night of poor sleep.

Sleep. If only. Exhausted, yet now after a day of being unable to focus, the brain runs a hundred miles a second reminding us of every slight, every failure, every missed opportunity, every awkward word, every terrifying moment of this horribly inadequate and unmanageable life.

What do you notice about the narrative?

This narrative is typical of a person battling depression. Thoughts are incredibly negative, self-berating and self-defeating. Often, there is an inability to recognize anything joyful or good in life. Negatives are over-emphasized in our thought lives. Neutral interactions are evaluated negatively. Even potentially positive occurrences are viewed with suspicion and the depressed person looks for how things will fall apart; talks him or herself into believing that it will never change. Even victories are seen negatively – the person may feel that it’s only a matter of time before they are found a fraud or failure.

The depressed person is unable to accept the truth of positivity and it is a deep well to hoist yourself out of. This is the point at which many depressed people look for help. The alternatives are real – many contemplate suicide as a way out of their pain. But that is a permanent solution to a temporary problem, for sure. If this sounds like you or someone you love, please reach out for help.

One thing in life is guaranteed though – things WILL CHANGE. There is HOPE.

Think it through. Although we can feel like life is a runs on parallel, worn out rutted tracks, the truth is that every day presents some kind of change. Rain, sunshine, foggy, clear, snow, hot, cold. Work day, school day, summer vacation, seasonal changes, holidays, good meals, not-so-good meals, time with family, time alone. Life is really full of change.

Although circumstances seem dreary today, we can count on circumstances changing tomorrow. We must look for it. We must look for it differently as well.

One of the things we can control is how we think about things. This is key for almost every person dealing with depression. We can try to see the dreary from a different point of view – a changed perspective.

The Bible supports this in Philippians 4:8 (ESV) says, “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.” (emphasis mine)

While that may be difficult for the person battling depression, sharing thoughts with a trained counselor and being willing to entertain some challenges to those negative perspectives can help shift thinking just a bit at a time. Sometimes medication is appropriate as well.

Wonderful things can happen when we decide to intentionally, consistently challenge our negative thoughts and entertain thinking on things that are pure, lovely, commendable, excellent, and worthy of praise. Philippians 4:9 (ESV) says when we are able to take those patterns of thinking, and turn them into behavior, then “the peace of God will be with you”.

There is hope. It may not seem true today, but it is.

There is hope. It just takes a little sunshine to burn off that fog.

Great Joy - I Surrender

By Mitzi Brown, The Well Therapy – September 2, 2019

While we wait.

Hurricane Dorian churns off the east coast of Florida, lashing the Bahamas with destructive, relentless forces of wind, torrents of rain, and inexplicable, unfathomable loss. Loss of property, life, loved ones, dreams, shelter, sustenance, power, clean water, dry or comfortable places to sleep, conditioned air, and maybe worst of all, hope. #hurricaneDorian #greatjoy #hope

As a Florida-dweller, I am familiar with the stress and anxiety of the days of waiting and wondering. Anxiety threatens to take over as we wait. Uncertainty creeps in and challenges our security – and for some, perhaps sanity. Tempers flare and patience grows short or nonexistent. #anxiety

This does not sound like the formula for great joy.

Yet without minimizing the reality of the threat, we dare not allow ourselves to go there. We dare not allow our anxious thoughts to take us to hopelessness.

We and those we love, or those we’ve never met can and do experience tragic losses – and may do so in the next few days, weeks, or months. But we, children of the Living God, dare not lose hope. Trouble has been promised for those of us still walking around on planet Earth – it’s not an “if”, but a “when”. It is not because we’ve been bad, or God is mean – it’s because we live in a fallen world that’s been ruined by sin and cursed with the promise of death because of sin. But thankfully not permanently for those who believe in and follow Jesus.

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James 1:2-4 (NLT) 2 Dear brothers and sisters,[a] when troubles of any kind come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. 3 For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. 4 So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing. (emphasis mine)

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Certainly, for anyone pondering evacuation plans or enduring the trauma of pounding winds and rising water, this can sound a bit trite. Great joy? Really?

God is not taken by surprise by our losses, pain and suffering. In John 16:33 (NLT), Jesus said, “I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.” (emphasis mine)

He knows troubles will come, and in those times of trouble, he wants our hearts, minds, and strength of soul to turn toward Him because He promises peace. He wants us to turn toward Him and “consider it an opportunity for great joy”. Does that mean we’re doing a happy dance that a hurricane is threatening? Of course not. It means we trust Him regardless the outcome – and we trust that He will use it as an opportunity to grow our faith.

Is that difficult? You bet!

I don’t know of anyone who goes through real trouble without experiencing a faltering peace. Well, at least I do. What James says in the above passage is this: those troubles are an opportunity for growth. An opportunity for us to choose faith over fear, and to grow in endurance, trusting God to work things out – even when our eyes cannot see any way for it to work out. Because, paradoxically, surrender is winning. #surrenderiswinning

Even if.

Even if my home is lost. Even if I suffer. Even if my family suffers. Even if I lose a pet. Even if I don’t know where the storm is headed. Even if I suffer property damage. Even if people perish. Even if ….

Is it ok to grieve loss? YES! It is not only ok it is necessary. It is possible to both grieve and be fully trusting God. Emotions are God-given. Fully experience your grief, pain, and loss by talking it through. It is ok to as why – Jesus did, and so can you. It is ok to be angry. And at the end of the day, return to God with your broken heart to receive comfort and healing.

Consider those closest to Jesus in the days after his horrible suffering and death on a Roman cross. Not what they were expecting – totally what God had planned though. They were filled with fear and doubt about this man they had followed and believed in for three years. Had they been wrong? Had it all been a lie?

They went into hiding for fear of enduring the same torturous fate. Until one day, as recounted in Luke 24:36-42 (NLT), Jesus appeared among them. Not like you and I walk into a room, but like, He’s not there, and, BOOM, then HE IS. And the first thing he says to them is “Peace be to you” because they were startled and frightened by this sudden appearance (I mean really, imagine this happening to you). He offers evidence that it’s really Him and asks for something to eat just to prove to them that he is not as ghost as some of them fear.

His Spirit is alive and present for us too. Consider it great joy. Expect Him to come through in unexpected ways. Turn toward hope. Surrender is winning.